Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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