Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
