But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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