So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
