Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
