Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
