my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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