I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I intend to get homeless drunk
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Randomize
