was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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