East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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