we have pet lesbian snakes
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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