How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
