try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize