We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
