I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize