Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize