We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
