I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
