So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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