Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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