We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize