is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
