You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
