The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
