i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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