it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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