Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
