I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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