Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
