Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
