I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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