He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize