just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
we should paint friendship bongs
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