She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
