I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize