Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
