3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
