I heard we made out
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
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