Just took my morning after pill in the library
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
