ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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