I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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