Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
