even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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