oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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