Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
