I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
