Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
