it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize