He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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