how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Holy shit dude........stairs
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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