whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize