sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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