Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
