What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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