I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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