If i come over, it means nothing
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
