I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Farmville is her only friend.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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