yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
