thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
