dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
