I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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