I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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