That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
