We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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